Show Notes

WHY SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL LEARNING?

As we get ready for the upcoming school year, we face the challenge of our kids returning after a wide range of difficult experiences. So how are we going to support them through this? What issues might there be as they reintegrate? As parents, teachers, coaches, spiritual leaders, and mentors what’s it going to look like for us to step up? Carolyn Gardner joining me for this episode today. She is a Social-Emotional Learning expert.

MEET THE EXPERT – CAROLYN GARDNER

Carolyn’s background in Social Emotional Learning came through being a classroom teacher for 20 years in elementary school. She continued utilizing her SEL knowledge as she left the classroom to focus on an online business.

During Covid, Social Emotional Learning became particularly concerning as a parent. As a single mom during isolation, she researched SEL for her family. Her main passion for Social-Emotional Learning was for her own family’s wellbeing. However, she realized it’s important for ALL of us as we support our children. That’s how her own podcast, SEL First, was born.

WHAT IS SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL LEARNING?

Reintegration from our life of isolation is difficult even for adults. Social-Emotional Learning is important for all of us as we go through the process.

But first, we need to understand what SEL is. What is Social-Emotional Learning, exactly?

Definition of SEL:

According to CASEL (Collaborative for Academic, Social, and Emotional Learning):

SEL is the process through which all young people and adults acquire and apply the knowledge, skills, and attitudes to develop healthy identities, manage emotions and achieve personal and collective goals, feel and show empathy for others, establish and maintain supportive relationships, and make responsible and caring decisions.

THE 5 ELEMENTS OF SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

So, there are 5 elements of Social-Emotional Intelligence:

• Self-awareness
• Self-management
• Social awareness
• Relationship skills
• Responsible decision making

THE CONNECTION BETWEEN SEL AND EQ

If you’re in the business world, you may recognize the correlation between these and what’s called Emotional Intelligence, or EQ. They are all part of the same skill set – one that research shows makes people more successful in life and relationships.

It makes sense; the more you’re able to manage yourself, the more successful you are in business.

Struggling with EQ as an adult can impact success as an employer or employee – even more so than IQ. If you don’t know how to communicate (which falls under the Social Emotional Learning umbrella) you can’t reach your full potential.

IS THIS ‘JUST HOW I AM’?

This can be the problem as we try to help our middle schoolers develop these skills – they may be things we’ve not learned ourselves.

In fact, many adults fall into that category, but there is great news.

Social-Emotional Learning skills can be, well, learned. This is somewhat of a newer mindset. Rather than viewing these skills as fixed personality traits, they are reframed as abilities to be developed.

It’s no longer an option to default to ‘this is just how I am.’ These skills are muscles we can grow in our brain.

DEVELOPING YOUR OWN SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

The first place to start is within self with self-awareness and self-management – which can be hard if you’re unaware.

We can begin by taking our thoughts captive and asking ‘what am I saying to myself?’

Carolyn’s podcast, SEL First, was inspired by the conviction that we have to adjust ourselves first to help our children.

A PRACTICAL WAY TO START MOVING TOWARD SOCIAL-EMOTIONAL LEARNING.

A great first step for teachers and parents might be to start journaling.

“Journaling has been a crucial lifesaver for me during the pandemic.”

Amy Kelly

Journaling doesn’t have to look like a locked diary of a little kid. It can be anything – a spiral, a notes apps, a voice recorder, a word or google doc.

It’s not the vehicle, it’s the journey. The goal is to identify emotions – which can be difficult for teens and adults. It takes learning to stop when feeling big feelings.

THIS IS NOT AN ASSIGNMENT!

This is NOT a writing project or assignment.

Rather, this is just sitting down, getting quiet, and doing a brain dump. It doesn’t have to look or sound pretty or make sense. It could be just a list of words. Maybe start with answering the question: What are 5 emotions I felt today?

Sidenote: if anger is the first one, try sitting with it and going deeper – anger is often a secondary emotion, masking the real emotion. Usually, there is much more going on. Identifying those underlying emotions will help you learn how to manage anger much better when you realize it’s coming from something else – often hurt and frustration.

YOU CAN DO IT

This is an exercise you can teach yourself to do. As we go into the new school year, that’s something teachers and parents can do – to model and practice as adults. It’s okay to stop and take a journal break before moving forward. Simply pause and tell students “I’m taking out my journal, you take out yours’ and let’s take a break.”

That was okay to do regularly, but on the tail end of a pandemic, it is absolutely appropriate.

Need support getting started? Check out Carolyn’s great resource that can help you set up journaling with your younger children.

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