Show Notes

The Fight, Flight, or Freeze Response

• Your body is programmed to react to danger and stress, usually with a fight, flight, or freeze response.
• Your brain doesn’t always recognize the difference between imminent danger and conflict with the people around you. As a result,  when you’re faced with a confrontation, your adrenaline spikes and your body kicks into panic mode.
• We don’t do our best thinking when we’re in fight, flight, or freeze, because all our body’s resources – like blood and oxygen – are redirected from the thinking, rational parts of the brain to the instinctual, protective parts.
• Learning how to calm yourself in moments of fight, flight, or freeze can go a long way in helping you stay connected with your teen – and anyone else who might trigger you.

When you’re in the moment, you can help calm yourself by:

• Breathing – make sure your exhales are longer than your inhales
• Using your senses to bring you back into the moment
• Taking a break or a time out

In a calm state, you can help speed up your ability to calm yourself by:

• Doing activities like yoga, tai chi, or meditation to practice your breathing
• Identifying your triggers
• Learning about what’s developmentally appropriate in teens
• Teaching your teen these same strategies for when they are in fight, flight, or freeze mode.

Have grace with yourself!

You’re not going to always get it right – but the way you come back together when you’ve blown it is HUGE in creating a connected relationship with your teen. Model apologizing well and also forgiving well.