Show Notes

‘BACK TO NORMAL’ IS A MISTAKE

Given that everyone has experienced their own level of trauma over the past year, going ‘back to ‘normal’ would be a mistake. We must acknowledge that rushing to get back into the swing of things will not work – especially for our teens and younger children.

The tendency is that we all have these things that MUST get done – and as adults, they are ‘have tos’, like paying bills and going to work. However, it’s in our best interest to pause and use some strategies (like journaling) to process how we’re feeling before we jump back into things. Because rushing back into what used to be normal? It can lead to further trauma and issues in the long term.

FAST IS SLOW, SLOW IS FAST

We need to build a foundation of trust and safety – in our homes and at school. That means acknowledging what we’ve been through. As Stephen Covey shares in his book, The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, ‘Fast is slow and slow is fast.’ Meaning, if you run into things too quickly it will actually slow you down in the long run.

Rather, taking a slow start, building community and space for conversation will give you that foundation you need to support your teens.

A NEW NORMAL

For teachers, that means avoiding that ‘Oh no! We’re behind and we have so much catching up to do’ mentality. Those things will come, and they’ll come faster if you build community first.

Everyone has been doing the best they can in the midst of the pandemic and it’s okay to take our time and rebuild – to create a new normal. That starts with putting everyone’s emotional well-being first.

TUCKING IT IN

It doesn’t mean taking months out of the curriculum – it’s about intentionally finding places to ‘tuck’ it into what you’re already doing. You don’t need to sacrifice as much time as you think.

If you don’t address the Social Emotional Learning aspect, the learning isn’t going to happen the way you want it to. For most of us, if we haven’t processed what’s going on internally, it’s hard to absorb anything external.

BUILDING A SAFE SPACE

As families, we can also create those times by letting teens know that this is their safe space to experience and express their emotions.

We can do this any place where things used to look a certain way, then they changed, and now we’re trying to make them look the same as they used to be. (Places like youth groups, sports teams, and other extracurricular activities.) We’re building a community where everyone feels SAFE to participate, whatever it is.

ACKNOWLEDGING HOW YOU’RE DIFFERENT

This starts with us doing it ourselves.

Evaluating how the past year of isolation has impacted you is important. Acknowledge that reentry is going to be a transition and have grace with yourself. Accept that there may be permanent changes withing you. Let that be okay.

That also means not pigeon-holing our teens, but really giving them the space to think about and explore how they’ve been impacted by the past year. Encourage them to answer the question: How am I different?

CREATING YOUR NEW NORMAL

How do we do that as teachers? You can start by taking a couple of minutes to be vulnerable with your students and share how you’re feeling. Then, ask how they’re feeling. And boom – you’ve tucked it into your day. It may take 5 – 10 minutes; it’s not spending the whole day talking about how everyone is doing. It’s just taking the time to acknowledge it – and that’s modeling what it looks like for your students.

You can do this at home, too. As parents, you might want to evaluate if you even want to go back to your previous normal schedule or routine. What have you learned over the past year that you want to include in your planning? Maybe you want a slower pace, so you cut some activities or commitments. Or, perhaps you want to add in more in-person get-togethers with family and friends.

Don’t miss this opportunity to make changes that reflect your new way of looking at things.

If you’d like help starting the conversation with your teens, be sure to check out my free resource, the Open-Ended Questions Cheat Sheet!

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